Shakes on a Plane
Torchwood Miracle Day: Rendition
After an hour of set-up in the previous episode, I had been hoping they may start to deal with pesky details such as plot in episode two. Instead, we are introduced to the B-team of secondary characters and given some nonsense on a plane.
Quite why this was necessary still isn’t entirely clear. The characters are easily definable – they’re all ‘bad’. Katya from Neighbours glowers a lot and tries to kill Jack; having heard John Barrowman’s cover of ‘Both Sides Now’, I can sympathise. Jilly Kitzinger is in PR and used to work in pharmaceuticals, so according to the laws of television, is almost certainly evil incarnate. Rounding off the trio of people who may be quite important in a few weeks is Wayne Knight’s Friedkin who turns out to be, surprisingly enough, not very nice.
The one salient point gleaned from this episode, almost a throwaway line from Rhys in the first few minutes, is that Jack can now die. If the rules have been reversed, the mortal are now immortal, and vice versa. And therein lies a major problem with Miracle Day. One of the defining features of Torchwood since day one is that any of the core group of characters could be killed off at any given moment. There’s no jeopardy, no tension. Yet everyone still goes round threatening one another with guns and snapping necks. The latter provides a ‘shock’ special effect down the line, but not much else. And if If Jack is the only one who can die, it also suggests that he will be the only one each week to be in genuine peril. If he becomes another Rory Williams, back from the brink of death every five minutes, it will get incredibly tedious incredibly quickly.
The more interesting parts of the story were sidelined in favour of nonsense on a plane. Bill Pullman’s Oswald Danes raises interesting questions: can a man who has done something so terrible be forgiven? Should he? And what should be done with him now? His chat show appearance and consequent media rise could be a damning look into the cult of celebrity. Though the writers so far don’t seem to be entirely confident in how to handle Danes. The explanation of why he was stealing food was utterly nonsensical, the only conclusion seeming to be that he’s just a bit of a dick. This is already on top of the whole rape/murder/paedophile thing – the guy needs to be given some redeeming features. The crying apology seemed utterly unbelievable. Whether it’s supposed to be a con on the part of Danes or just a misstep by Pullman, time will tell.
The medical implications of this new scenario are also grim. Though nobody can die, everyone will still age, eventually shrinking into Dobby Doctor. Diseases will become quickly become resistant to antibiotics and the world will live on, diseased, in pain, fighting for food. As this is Miracle Day’s USP, why not focus on this? A throwaway line about how surprising it is that India hasn’t invaded Pakistan (because that’s what apparently will happen without the promise of reincarnation…) doesn’t really have the same effect.
And then, the nonsense on the plane. It apparently turns out that the effects of arsenic poisoning can be easily reversed by mixing together a few ingredients that just happen to be easily located at 30,000 feet. Conveniently enough, Katya from Neighbours has given Jack a slow-acting poison, which allows half an episode of House-style shenanigans whilst John Barrowman is slowly coated in more and more blue makeup. Chemistry: Blue Peter style; so long as you have some silver, de-greaser, a diabetic steward and other handy household items, you too can make your own antidote!
Back at the CIA, Esther is alerted to shenanigans when her bank conveniently phones her to let her know she has some cash in her account. I need that bank. Last time I had money my account got frozen for ‘suspicious activity’. Because apparently association with a top secret agency that nobody knows about (apart from all those grannies back in Cardiff) is enough to get you set up.
This is Torchwood’s essential problem – what does it want to be? Is it a 24-style action thriller, with people (not actually) killing each other left right and centre? Is it a medical drama? Or is sci-fi? I have no idea. Like it or loathe it, the first few series of Torchwood were like nothing else on television. Miracle Day so far seems like an attempt to get the brightest, shiniest elements of already-successful US dramas and shoehorn them into one programme. Miracle Day is jack of all trades, master of none.
Still, after nearly two hours of screen time we have our newly-assembled Torchwood team. Here’s hoping the plot can finally kick into action.
