The only Doctor Who Convention to take place entirely on ice!
Venue: Solihull Ice Rink
Date: April 1st, 2009
Price: £300*
Early Registrations get a free Corey Johnson autograph!
Our Special Guests (and Colin Baker):
Courtney Pine
Tachyon TV is proud to invite the saxy Courtney Pine to his very first Doctor Who convention (to be held in the West Midlands). Please note that due to stringent contract stipulations Courtney will only answer one question about the making of Silver Nemesis.
Harold Pinter
In his very first UK convention appearance, Harry will be talking exclusively about what it was like to not work on The Abominable Snowmen. Warning for small children and any ming-mongs with OCD: this panel may include long pauses and barely suppressed anger.
Bella Emberg
We are pleased to announce that a village fete has fallen through and the charming Bella Emberg is once again able to attend Osterhagen-on-Ice. She promises to to provide us with some fascinating insights into the making of Love & Monsters and Russ Abbott's (The Sarah Jane Adventures) Madhouse.
Anne Widdecombe
Did Ms. Widdecombe pinch John Simm's arse in The Sound of Drums? Discover the shocking truth for yourself at Osterhagen-On-Ice!
Gareth Hale
Sadly, Norman Pace (Survival Part 1) has had to pull out due to work commitments (he can't change his shift).
John Paul Green
John Paul (Rise of the Cybermen, Doomsday) Green will be standing in for Alistair Appleton, who sadly can not make it this year. Please note that JP's appearance is subject to media whoring commitments.
Graham Crowden
Subject to dementia.
Colin Baker
This is Colin's only UK convention appearance that takes place on an ice rink during the month of April so please book early to avoid disappointment! Please note that Colin's appearance is subject to us not being gazumped by another convention organiser in America.
David Bickerstaff
The last panel of the day will feature David Bickerstaff interviewing himself.
More Guests To Be Announced Soon
We are hoping to attract even more guests to Osterhagen-On-Ice, including: a macra operator, a lezzer from Torchwood, that tart who puts her hand down Owen's pants, the "make an 'orse sick" woman from The Talons of Weng-Chiang, and some bloke out of Meat; we're not entirely sure which one yet so please check back for updates. We also hope to secure appearances from Bernard Cribbins, Lalla Ward, Lynda Bellingham and Anthony Stewart Head. Well, you never know...
In the Actor's Studio
A very special panel where many of the great and the good from Doctor Who will present a one-off master class in how to act on television. Featuring: Will Barton (Midge from Survival), Jenny Laird (Neska, Arak's mum, from Planet of the Spiders), Abisola Agbaje (Chloe Webber from Fear Her), Rosalyn De Winter (Insect Movement Choreographer from The Web Planet) and Matthew Waterhouse. This unique event is only £75 and is limited to just the one place so please book early!
Coffee Lounge & Autograph Queue
After spending a small fortune on registration, travel, accommodation, food and prostitutes, why not treat yourself to an autograph for another £10. Remember that you can take advantage of our special Sad Completist Rate and get £2.50 off the total price. Yes, that's only by £147.50 for every single unintelligible scribble! And if you miss a panel because you are standing in a queue with someone dressed as Sylvester McCoy for three hours, an unedited VHS copy of the event will be on sale immediately after the convention closes (only £45 plus p&p).
For an even more intimate experience you can pay £15 to have a coffee in the same room as one of our esteemed guests (coffee not included). You can even buy them some biscuits if you like.
Celebrity Meal and Cabaret
For an extra £150 you can watch Colin Baker tuck into a rib of beef while David Bickerstaff tells him the best way to eat it. Alternatively, you can hike 7 miles across an industrial estate infested with teenagers armed with knives to a Burger King. Or stay on-site and pay £9.50 for a cheese and tomato sandwich. The choice is yours.
The meal will be followed by a special cabaret featuring Sir Paul McCartney (The Chase), Courtney Pine (Silver Nemesis) and Orbital (a short documentary in 1999). Just as things start to mellow out we will turn on the lights and embark on a 3-hour auction. Why not spend what's left of your budget by bidding on some latex that might be part of a Marshman costume. The night ends with a disco where you are invited to stand in the shadows, mocking any poor ming-mong who is shuffling moronically to the Scissor Sisters 'I Can't Decide'**
Dealer's Room
Can't be bothered going online and buying the latest Doctor Who DVD release for under a tenner? Then why not visit our Dealer's Room and get the very same disc for the full Recommended Retail Price! And while you're at it, why not buy some Primeval action figures, a copyright-infringing T-shirt, something made out of pewter or some incomprehensible jewelry? All major credit cards are accepted.
The Venue
Tachyon TV are pleased to announce that Osterhagen-on-Ice 2009 will take place at the world famous Solihull Ice Rink (please note that skate hire is not included in the admission price). The Rink (as it is known by the locals) is renowned for its striking decor and strange smell, and this will be is the only convention to be held entirely on ice since 1983. Please note that Osterhagen-on-Ice are not liable for any injuries sustained during this convention.
Accommodation
We have managed to secure a special deal with a local hotel in Coventry (mini-buses will be available at a discounted rate) and we can guarantee that surly staff, extortionate bar prices, nicotine stained ben linen and a free dose of scabies will make this an event that you won't forget in a hurry. Only £180 a night for a twin room (per person) or take advantage of their very reasonable king-sized orgy rate (£256, breakfast and prophylactics not included).
Updates
Stay abreast of any Osterhagen-on-Ice developments via our .